Do you ever think back to when your child was a baby or a toddler, and wonder if you missed any possible signs of autism or associated diagnoses?
Reminiscing
I have been wondering about this, and have been looking back at old videos and photos, but not really spotting much. There are a couple of videos where J is lining up blocks, and she used to love building blocks and seeing how high she could balance them. I guess this was a bit repetitive, but we just figured she enjoyed doing it!
Looking at the main criteria online for recognising autism in kids, she didn’t really present with the listed attributes. I guess things started to become more visible at pre-school and then followed on with primary school.
We had the terrible twos and obligatory tantrums, but rather than ceasing as she got older, they turned into meltdowns and lasted a lot longer. We just assumed she was a stubborn little thing and didn’t like being told what to do. Little did we know this was autism with PDA and ADHD added into the equation.
Friendships
J has struggled with friendships throughout her life, not only in making friends, but maintaining them also. Till this very day I am not sure she really, really knows deep down what makes a good friend. She has always preferred having just one person close by, usually younger and smaller than her. It’s like her motherly instinct takes over.
When she started middle school, I remember her telling me that she went around the playground picking up other girls (literally lifting them off the ground!), then saying “do you want to be friends?”. A slightly odd friend making technique, but I guess in her mind it was perfect.
She definitely, to this day, struggles with understanding personal space, and when out and about, will often sit too close to someone, or walk by always much closer than she should. She also has no idea about how loud her voice can be, indoors and outdoors.
Obsessional
I think she was, and still is, obsessional about things/people. I remember once on holiday, when she was about 5, she took a liking to one of the reps that did the party stuff for kids in the evenings. She followed this girl everywhere and got upset if anyone else spoke to her. I remember watching her one evening and this rep was talking to another little girl who was showing her her dolly or something, and J rushed over to us to grab something off the table she had brought to show her also, clearly not wanting to be left out!!
J also became extremely obsessional about a girl at her previous school. At one stage she would only walk into school if the girl was there to meet her! I think now, however, the person obsession has changed to an activity obsession, ie Minecraft, which is currently on her mind from the minute she wakes up till the minute she goes to bed. Anxiety has certainly increased with age too, but that is to be expected as PDA is an anxiety led condition.
Different Not Less
If you look at J you would not see her as 'different', as visually nothing sets her apart from other kids her age, but spend just a day with her and you will see how different she actually is. From her communication ability, processing speed, social skills, sensitivity, demand avoidance and more, she is very different, but beautifully unique.
What you will also uncover, if you have a chance to get to know her, is how creative, talented, funny, ambitious, curious, energetic and free spirited she is.
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