Theory of mind (ToM) is the cognitive ability to realise that other people have different experiences, intentions, feelings and thought processes than you. It requires the person to read the non verbal communication of others and be able to put yourself in 'someone else's shoes' as the saying goes.
Specific Topic
ToM is thought to be poorly developed in people with ASD, in turn leading to potential problems with communication, such as not knowing when to stop talking about a specific topic. I know J has no idea when 'enough is enough'
Social Cues
Because of J's inability to read social clues, to the outside world she could be perceived as insensitive, rude or selfish in her behaviour, even though this is far from being the case. With her lack of understanding that others may have different thoughts and emotions, she can often react inappropriately in social situations. It would be easy to judge her behaviour without the understanding she so clearly needs.
Feedback
In an ASD brain like J's the parts responsible for ToM are not always 'connecting', so she will not be receiving the 'feedback' needed in order to change/adapt her behaviour. When you look at it like this, it really begins to make sense and I am starting to feel like I am getting my head around it a bit more.
It's not a case that J won't try and put herself in someone else's shoes, it's more that she just can't. Simple right?!
Underdeveloped Skills
A lack of expressed sympathy or empathy may not be the result of a lack of emotion in someone with ASD, but rather due to underdeveloped skills. J often has an inability to process emotional cues and understand people's body language, tone of voice or facial expressions. Maybe she does feel deep empathy towards others but cannot outwardly communicate this with her expressions or language. God I wish I knew the answers!!
Clear & Direct
ToM can be taught I guess, but it would take a lot of time, patience and understanding. So maybe in order for us to teach this we need to be more clear and direct with our communication. For instance, J could talk about Minecraft all day long, and because she can't put herself in 'our shoes' so to speak, she probably believes we are just as excited about what she has found out or built as she is.
Believe me ... we are not! 😀
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