PDA TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD

To the outside world J appears totally socialable, but recent tests do show a lack in depth of understanding. She has learnt many social niceities and can be very polite.

However, there is the other side where she can massively overreact to a situation, finds it incredibly hard to take responsibility for her actions and has difficulty seeing/understanding boundaries. Add into this a display of seriously confusing behaviours at times and contradictory moods (often as a result of a perceived pressure or a demand, driven for a need to control), overfamiliarity and impulsitivity.

J is very comfortable in role play, sometimes to an extreme extent, in fact when she was a lot younger she sometimes seemed to confuse reality and pretence at times. We thought this was just the sign of a creative mind.

School and Home

Just to confuse matters, for some the behaviour of a person with a demand avoidant profile can vary between settings. For example, a child could appear very anxious at home, but absolutely calm at school. This is a learned coping strategy, and a lack of understanding of the real reasons for these differences can make parents feel very isolated and inadequate. 

In other cases, ‘outbursts’ are far worse at school, where demands may be much greater, and this can lead to multiple exclusions from an early age. For some children, this anxiety can develop to such an extent that they become school refusers.