This is what happy looks like.... to the outside world looking in.
I took this selfie of us just before we were about to leave to visit my parents for a socially distanced BBQ to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
I'm smiling and on the one hand really looking forward to going. On the other hand, although I know in essence she will be fine, there will be a couple of family members we all haven't seen for a very long time. At some point she will feel overwhelmed.
She will be asked random questions from the other family members who don't really know much about her diagnosis and no doubt she will do her best to answer them.
She will eat food in front of others, instead of being tucked away in the sanctuary of home and just us.
She looks tired. She IS tired but she will never acknowledge it.
As we drive the short distance I am thinking about all of the above. No doubt her mind is awash with thoughts too. Maybe she is wondering if she will like the food or how long we will be there before we are home and she can play on the Xbox again 
What I am trying to say, but probably failing miserably, is that as a parent you can't help but imagine worse case scenario. You don't 'relax' as a parent. You tiptoe ever so quietly around your child and you pray that any upset or frustration that could erupt at any time, over anything, doesn't trigger a meltdown or possible shutdown.
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