GAMING

Children with autism are typically strongly drawn to video games and will spend excessive amounts of time online, sometimes becoming socially withdrawn or obsessive even.

Playing Minecraft helps J maintain a sense of calm and helps her to self regulate. But then equally there are times when playing the game creates massive problems, with her innocent animation swiftly turning into an extremely heightened state. A vicious circle.

Its really lovely when we hear J giggling and laughing so much when playing online with friends. Maybe one of the only times we hear that "proper" deep belly laugh, if you know what I mean.... but then there is the other side (the dark side), where something has happened in the game where either someone has upset her, not followed her rules(!) or the game has just got a bit to much for her to process, in which case thankfully she is slowly realising this emotion and switches it off and has a break up in her room or on her gorilla gym.

Understanding

I do get why the game is so appealing, especially with PDAers. Minecraft allows J to have complete control over her own environment for a pretty much unlimited time, whilst being able to be creative and productive.

When I sit in with J and she is playing online it is soooo noticeable how different a neurotypical person would react throughout a game. If I was gaming with my friends, even if we had a massive interest in the game, a large part of the conversation would also involve general chit chat, how was your day, what you were doing at the weekend etc, whereas with J there is literally no other talk except Minecraft, Minecraft and more Minecraft.

In the past I have sometimes whispered to her whilst she is playing, “why don’t you ask him x, y, or z, and she just says “ssshhh”, glares at me and puts a hand up to my face as in to say stop talking! It’s like she needs to be totally submerged in the game.... almost becoming the game!

Worry

Like any parent I worry about this gaming addiction and often think that the real world will not live up to the glorious technicolour of the game that she plays. Real life is not a game and you certainly cannot control every element of it.

I also worry about who she might be playing with. Who might join a game and start a chat. Although we think she is quite “savvy” in this respect, you just don’t know do you? The only way to overcome this is to make sure the settings on the game are right or sit with her whilst playing. I do do this on occasion, but its not practical all the time. I also think she feels more comfortable chatting to her friends online without me there to be honest. And I guess when I was growing up I would have felt the same too!

Thankfully if someone does join and she doesn’t know who they are, more often than not she will run out to tell us. I hope that continues.

Demanding

Once a child has found THE game they like they will begin to demand access to the game regardless of the time of day. And if your child is anything like J, it's not enough to have the game only on the Xbox, oh no, it has to be on her tablet and now the computer. Basically it's taking over!

If she doesn't have access to it, she will be talking about it and planning what she will do in the game later. She will literally talk about the game to anyone that will listen. If we are talking about something else, somehow she will try her hardest to steer the conversation back to Minecraft.

Don't get me wrong I love the fact she is so passionate, so knowledgeable, and that she has found her special interest and I am under no illusion that demanding that this change is only going to build resentment and make everything 100 times worse!

So for now, Minecraft helps her feel in control, she feels important playing it, she has built some amazing stuff, she has had fun, she has laughed, (she has cried), but this is what keeps her going, this is what makes J who she is ....

.... and who she is is our amazing little girl, and that will never change!