PDA is described as a pervasive developmental disorder. This means it affects every aspect of a child's life and development, and, unlike an illness, there is no cure.
The Demands
J will often acknowledge the demand but then can come up with a myriad of excuses as to why she cannot comply! Some of which have been bizarre, funny and ingenious at times!We as parents often wondered in the past why praise, rewards and even punishment were ineffective with J. After all, you read the majority of parenting books or advice online and it's all about praise and reward right?
Even if J has desperately wanted the reward on offer in the past we now know refusal of the demand was down to the fact that she simply couldn't, rather than wouldn't, do what was being asked of her.
We used to joke that in order to get her to do something we could even arrange for a unicorn to be in our garden for her, but that wouldn't make a blind bit of difference. Without any knowledge of PDA back then, we just believed her to be extremely stubborn and headstrong.
Just imagine being unable to do what is asked of you , even if you desperately wanted the reward in question. There's high anxiety involved with our daughter too and an instinctive need to avoid and to be in control at all times.
On the surface J appears charming and perhaps more socially able than a child with 'typical' autism, but she does struggle to understand the subtleties of social interaction on a deeper level. This social ability has become more apparent over time.
Just imagine being unable to do what is asked of you , even if you desperately wanted the reward in question. There's high anxiety involved with our daughter too and an instinctive need to avoid and to be in control at all times.
On the surface J appears charming and perhaps more socially able than a child with 'typical' autism, but she does struggle to understand the subtleties of social interaction on a deeper level. This social ability has become more apparent over time.
Jekyll & Hyde
The switch from passive to full on aggression, with seemingly no obvious trigger, is hard to deal with. You feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells.Our sweet, funny, intelligent, articulate little 8 year old girl can completely change. Her whole demeanour changes, her face sort of drops, her expression changes, her eyes become expressionless and she is out to destroy anything and everyone in her path! And then to top that, remembers nothing of the outburst. I think that is the most upsetting thing for me.
Pre diagnosis we used to ask her "how can you not remember" then would often proceed to tell her what had happened. She then would display a genuine look of horror and concern. Even to the point that she would try and explain her reasons as to why she wouldn't have done what we claimed she had.
Pre diagnosis we used to ask her "how can you not remember" then would often proceed to tell her what had happened. She then would display a genuine look of horror and concern. Even to the point that she would try and explain her reasons as to why she wouldn't have done what we claimed she had.
Incredibly sad really.
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